When it Buries You


My friend came over Friday Night, you know, Sassy’s Tips.  Any way we are hanging out smoking cigarettes in the apartment because that’s what 21 year old girls do when they finally move out on their own…wait…I just turned 50…

So, she has to leave because of her already made plans and as I walk her to her car and take my babies for a walk, there is a tiny baby kitten.  Hot, hungry and scared.  Sassy picks her up and of course gets scratched.  I know she didn’t want me to put the same antibiotic cream on the scratch that I use for Kali’s nervous hot spots so she goes on.  I put the dogs back in our place and try to find the kitty, but all I have is soy and almond milk.  I know that isn’t going to help her.

My babies promptly wake me when I decide it’s time, and we pursue the walk without coffee.   There, lying on the concrete, is the barely 2 week old, that has been mauled by something not human.  Okay.  I love Pits.  They can be the most timid, loving creatures; but if they are trained to attack- they will.  That is all.

I put my pups back in their space; grab some gloves, newspaper and a bag and go back downstairs with tears streaming from my eyes.  Wondering why such cruelty has to happen.  I carefully wrap her and dispose of her remains with the best of what I got.  I do a prayer for her and any other creature that had to endure such pain.

Had coffee, got dressed because of my plans with Sassy Girl, and took my babes for another walk before I was going to leave them alone for the day.  As they were in their familiar yard area, I got a little relaxed and let go of their leashes.  Kali decided to go on a journey with baby Olive in tow down the thoroughfare of a major roadway.  Not the sidewalk, but the street.  I prayed to God “Please don’t let anything happen to my furbabies, I still need them”

I finally caught up with them at a corner Buy Here, Pay Here car dealership and Kali is like “What up?”  I grab their leashes and thanked the heavens for saving grace.

In the meantime, Okay, I live in a predominately black neighborhood.  I am the white girl.  So, a club of Mexican Bikers set up a barbeque and booth in the Family Dollar parking lot across the street.  Me, the full of love hippie chick goes to check it out.  The intention I got from the group was not friendly.

My girl comes to pick me up and we get in her car to leave and there is a full on Mexican Parade happening in the wrong neighborhood.

Please don’t take me wrong.  I am not racist.  But, the stigma and the problem do exist.

So, we do a youy, and get the heck outta there.  I think we at some point were on two wheels, that’s when I decided we are Thelma and Louise!  I am fumbling with the GPS.  And if anyone knows me, that crap and me don’t mix.  I go solely on instinct and we finally find the freeway.

We do our Coupon and Thrifty shopping like every poor white girl should and when we are done, we hang out at Sassy’s place.  As she’s whipping us up some snacks, we go to have a smoke on her balcony and discover a mom and gramma looking for their 11 year old girl.

My heart drops 30 feet.

The cops come, knock on doors and no results.  This girl can’t be found.  God only knows what happened.

Sassy brings me home and I am greeted by some happy pooches.

We nestle in for the evening and there is still some activity going on outside but I am okay until I hear the familiar sounds of gunshots only from my earlier days of living in the woods.

Me and my babes climb into Kali’s safe place, which is the nice sized closet.

My furbabes wake me up when they know I will accept it and we do our morning rounds.

I am thinking, maybe today will be calm.  NOPE.

My daughter that just turned 25.  I love her.  I would do anything in my power to save her from this world and keep her in a protective bubble and give her Disneyland.   But I can’t
She is struggling.  And hard.

What does a mom do when their baby girl hurts.  What does she do?

As I tried to groom my muzzled poochiweenie as her schnoodle mama tries to protect; I lost it.

I lost it all.  My dogs ended up fighting with a plugged in grooming shears running in between them and me blowing up at my daughter telling her to suck it up..

I am now doing my Himalayan Sea Salt, Lime and Tequila therapy method and realizing my oxygen tank just ran out.

Time for a refill


Freezing Veggies



I remember as a child, my mom working to the bone, and still sparsely any food in the cupboard. 

There was this one summer in particular; we somehow ended up with lots of garden fresh veggies and fruit of all sorts.   A friendly neighbor helping an overworked mom, I am sure.

baby cooking

Mom and I spent the entire weekend, canning and freezing these lovely treats that were given to us so generously.


bus groceries

When I finally got to go grocery shopping; I told myself to just get a few things since I was taking the bus.  Unfortunately, I don’t listen very well and ended up with a half a basket full of deals and edible treats!

I bagged and doubled bagged the best I could and proceeded to put my arms through the handles, and in the process, a gentleman asked if I had it okay.  Being of Scotch-Irish and Welsh decent, nothing can stop this tenacious redhead and I continued with my 12 bags of groceries down the walk to the bus stop.

I set my bags down, and asked others to double-check as I didn’t want to board the wrong bus.  A nice girl helped me get my groceries onto the bus so I could swipe my boarding pass and sat with my loot wondering how I was going to reload.  I still had to change vehicles when I got to the East Side Exchange Station.


I managed to resort my stash and managed to change buses when it was time.  When I finally made it to my stop, the bus driver lowered the bus so I could step off easier.

I muddled across the busy thoroughfare to my building.  I stared at the stairs and thought better of trying.  I set everything down and carried 3 at a time into my apartment with two anxiously awaiting fur pups that were very excited to see me.  Only smashing one loaf of bread and one egg in the dozen.

Since I got carried away with buying fresh veggies from the produce isle and no way could I eat all of these treats by myself; I remembered when my mom and I bagged and froze our dispensations.

I spent my morning dicing and bagging veggies for various recipe starters and meals.

A tidbit of history-freezing food was introduced back in the 1930’s by a man named Clarence Birdseye.

There are many sites on the web that have lots of good info on freezing guidelines.  Here is one example that I used.


BTW, my first batch of Hooch came out yummy!

Hugs and Hope


dtc recipe 7




Did you know I used to drive a Mercedes?  Had the fancy house too- That’s where my fluffy spoiled ones come from.

I wasn’t convinced yet of switching from Android to Iphone.  I was a die-hard fan of Blackberry.  It was so easy; just plug your phone into your desktop or laptop with a special Blackberry plug in and downloaded program to go with it.

So, when I was so happily engaged with my narcopath, I had all of the fancy toys for grown-ups (not those)  all the way to the 70 inch TV in the bedroom to play Grand Theft Auto.  If that gives inkling to romantic life…..

I had this beautiful 3000 sq. ft. house, built in the  1970’s but still in a proper neighborhood.  I used the new Dodge Ram Hemi to go to the local Goodwill.  I found so many treasures!  I loaded up my fancy truck and dragged the pieces to my fancy home.  All by myself.  I didn’t mind.  Somehow in my crazy head, I decided this was important.  I swear to this day, it is a piece of hope that kept my sanity.

At the time, ‘we’ had an old pug-  Snarfie.  He probably weighed 25 lbs.  But, he was the most lovable dog.

He was the replacement of the family dogs of the time before.  Mimi and Daisy.

Mimi, would be the first time EVER , I betrayed my daughter.  The Dominos fell rapidly after that.


So now, six years later…….

My daughter graduated College and is finding her way.

My son, we grew up together, there are no other words.

Except I love my kids equally and the same.

I spend hours every day with both of my kids.  They are 30 and 25.

I am feeling more love and contentment and happy.  Isn’t that the most important thing?


Hugs and Hope


The White Dove


Out of difficulties grow miracles.

Jean de la Bruyere


I was taking my pups for their outside adventure for the last time for the evening, as I was opening my door, the pooches started barking frantically.  I look up and there is a white dove on my balcony and he didn’t seem to mind whatsoever that there were 2 tiny dogs yelling at him.

dove 2

When we were done with our trip, I didn’t expect him to still be on my stairway.  The dove nestled himself on my neighbors cooler unit and stayed there through the night.  In the morning, I had noticed my neighbor giving him some water.

I could see the twinkle in my neighbor’s eyes as he knew this was a message from the Divine.  He shared with me he had lost his mother and brother as well.  Even their ages were the same.  I also met my neighbor down the hall.  She is a nurse and has lived in this building for 5 years.

dove 5

My son came to visit, and was also touched by our visitor.  He took beautiful pictures of our special friend.

The Dove stayed for 3 days.

dove 3

In that time, he would let us get close, but not touch.  He would look into your eyes all the way to your soul.  There are no words to describe the warm comforting wisdom coming from this lovely creature.



The evening of the 3rd day, he was gone.

My neighbor was saddened by the Dove’s departure.  He tells me “I guess I missed my sign.”  I responded by telling him that maybe it will take a couple of days to present itself.  Or maybe, the sign was simply the gift of having a White Dove come visit us.


The Envelope System



I had really forgotten how to budget.  I haven’t had to do it in 7 years.  Not really. 


I have always prided myself in being the Spreadsheet Queen.  Every penny went on the budget.  You have to; otherwise it can slip away at the drop of a bad spending decision.  I have managed to get myself in quite the credit card pickle.

A good way to drown out a person’s true emotions.

sec 3

I have always managed to take a negative situation and learn from it.  So, when I got credit happy again and lost my job in 2008, I really had to look long and hard to make it.  When I did finally get a job ( I was at the end of my rope, of course) I made just enough to pay the bills and live on $40 a week.  With a teenage daughter in tow



So, here I am again.  My checking account is overdrawn and my work hours have been cut way back to one or two days in a pay period.  Not exactly survival money.  I know, I needed some time to get better, but this stubborn redhead can’t stay down for very long.   I think a good word to describe me would be tenacious.

laundry cute


I’m doing laundry in the tub and making Scooby snacks for the pooches with granola bars.  I am sure there might be too much sugar, but, you gotta do what you gotta do.

My wonderful son gave me some allowance, so I can purchase things I need.  It reminded me of re teaching oneself discipline with money.  The envelope system.

You take envelopes and divide up your cash for bills and necessities.  Mine are bus tickets, furbaby supplies, misc. and for a rainy day.

This works so well, it helps to actually see where your cash is going and helps to start thinking of ways to cut back on things you don’t really need.  The basics of budgeting.


I finally stepped up to the Laundromat.  I used the suitcase with wheels and handle to take my favorite bus.   Makes it so much easier to maneuver; when I go grocery shopping next time, I am taking my bonnet with wheels.


Hugs and Hope



gmas spaghetti

Ray’s Flag


Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.

Rabindranath Tagore

unpacking boxes


I got the opportunity to get some more of my stuff.  It’s pretty cool, I open up all the boxes and it’s like a celebration all over again!

Among my boxes, was my step-dad’s flag in a broken box and stained with cigarette smoke from a relationship gone.


I met Ray when I was about 11 or 12.  He not only accepted my mom and me into his home, but also his heart.  He loved us like I’ve never felt love from another being.  To him, I WAS his daughter.


USA Corps


Somehow managing to get into the Army before his 16th birthday spent his entire working life in the Military.  Ray was a Surveyor for the Army Corps of Engineers until he was medically forced to retire because of Emphysema.  He left this world in December of 1992.

The last time I saw him, my daughter was only 3 months old.  We took a trip to Marysville so my daughter could meet her grandfather for the first time……..



Pulling out this flag was like unleashing all the memories as they were yesterday; supporting me through my summer softball years in Junior High all the way to my College graduation and beyond. Through the worst years of a teens life; this man gave me his encouragement and love only that of a true Dad.

ray 2

I remember going to fine restaurants for dinner with he and my mom, and me ordering ravioli, no sauce with ketchup and saltine crackers.  I really knew how to live it up!  He never said a word; he would even order me a Shirley Temple so I could have a cocktail with my dinner too.


When I was about 20, a mom to my son and being too young to be married and starting a family; Ray would let me mow his yard and clean his house so I could earn some grocery money.  I didn’t have to earn it; he would’ve just given it to me.  But, I would insist, I had too much love and respect otherwise.


ray n me

My graduation from Lassen College,  my step dad drove over 3 hours to be with me and family as I received my Diploma.  He treated all of us to dinner and gifted me with a pearl necklace and matching earrings.  I still have one of the earrings, I will cherish forever.


fold flag

I completely opened the flag and carefully hand washed it in my tub.  Washing away the bad memories and making sure it doesn’t touch the floor and hanging it gingerly to dry.



My son spent 4 years in the Navy.  I think it would be an honor if we both fold it back together and place it in its new home.


With Hugs and Hope


Katharine Hepburn


Born May 12, 1907 in Hartford, Connecticut, she was the daughter of a doctor and a suffragette, both of whom always encouraged her to speak her mind, develop it fully, and exercise her body to its full potential. An athletic tomboy as a child, she was also very close to her brother, Tom, and was devastated at age 14 to find him dead, the apparent result of accidentally hanging himself while practicing a hanging trick their father had taught them. For many years after this, Katharine used his birthdate, November 8, as her own. She then became very shy around girls her age, and was largely schooled at home. She did attend Bryn Mawr College, however, and it was here that she decided to become an actress, appearing in many of their productions.

After graduating, she began getting small roles in plays on Broadway and elsewhere. She always attracted attention in these parts, especially for her role in “Art and Mrs. Bottle” (1931); then, she finally broke into stardom when she took the starring role of the Amazon princess Antiope in “A Warrior’s Husband” (1932). The inevitable film offers followed, and after making a few screen tests, she was cast in A Bill of Divorcement(1932), opposite John Barrymore. The film was a hit, and after agreeing to her salary demands, RKO signed her to a contract. She made five films between 1932 and 1934. For her third, Morning Glory (1933) she won her first Academy Award. Her fourth, Little Women (1933) was the most successful picture of its day.


Women’s Fashion In The 1930s


Clothing styles were less extravagant for the most part during the 1930s. However, you could still tell between the “haves” and “have nots” of this time. Some of the more affluent type of dress was presented by models in issues of the women’s magazine Good Housekeeping.
You can see some of the businesslike influence in these simple outfits if you go back to the April 1930 issue. Models in some of the photos displayed simple-yet feminine outfits of two-piece V-neck cardigan, simple blouse, and button-down wrap skirts.
Other photos presented in this issue of Good Housekeeping showed off long free-flowing dresses with moderately low V-necklines. These dresses are known often as the “1930s Trousseau”.
These particular outfits are what many people would perhaps associate in times past with tea time or luncheon in high society. These particular elegant yet simple lines of clothing or in the ever-growing middle class social circle.
The shapes of these dresses were designed to show off a woman’s most feminine features-tight or snug at the waist and then bowing slightly out. Most of these dresses are either slightly gathered and/or pleated. The pattern for many of the early 1930s dresses that were made is known as the “cross cut bias” style.
Some of them are one-piece while others are accented with a short elegant jacket. Today (the year 2007) many people would consider wearing these styles of dresses to a formal or semi-formal dinner.
All though women did cut back on the number and style of clothes, Ladies Hats were still an integral part of any Ladies wardrobe
Ladies Newport Matinee hat $1.59 The sleeves of most of the 1930s dresses and outfits referenced in this article are of ¾ length or shorter. The Hem line of most of the outfits during this time was cut between the knees and the shin. Colors of fashionable ladie’s wear in the 1930s were of different colors such as red, navy, white, and black.
One of the most famous fashion influences of the 1930s was Coco Chanel. Another one of this time was Madeleine Vionnet, who was a French Designer


Men’s Shirt $2.50 Ohio 1932
Ladies Wool Flannel Robes $3.95 Nebraska 1934
Ladies Winter Coats $16.00 Indiana 1937
Men’s Quality Overcoats $15.00 Indiana 1937
Ladies Oxfords Shoes $2.44 Indiana 1937
Men’s Slacks $3.98 Indiana 1937
Women’s silk hose 49 cents Ohio 1933
Boys overcoat wool 8.69-11.98/each From $ New Jersey
Boys pants and breeches, corderoy From $1.98 New Jersey
Boys school suit, From $7.94 New Jersey
Girls hose (tights), woolen, From $25 cents per pair New Jersey
Men s shirt, Arrow, From $1.45 New Jersey
Men s sport coat, /each From $19.98 New Jersey
Women s dress shoes, From $3.45 New Jersey
Women s suit, 2 pieces, From $6.98 New Jersey
Men’s Sox 10 cents ohio 1933
Ladies Sandals 98 cents Maryland 1939
Boys and Girls Underwear 49 cents   Maryland   1935

Men’s 2 Piece Suit Double breasted $19.75 New York 1935

Howard Deluxe Quality silk lined hat $2.85 New York 1935

Sheeplined Moccasins 79 cents Ohio 1935

Fancy Broadcloth Pajamas $1.89 Indiana 1937
Men’s Lined Gloves 98 cents ohio 1935






I worked yesterday.  Now that I have my strength back, I am ready to work full time.  This one day here, one day there, is certainly for the birds.  Even though I live where the buses run now, they don’t quite take you everywhere.  You can get there, but it’s through 3 different transit systems.  I am not quite ready to figure that out yet.

I Demo in Target Stores in my area, so I get to check out the clearance rack quite frequently.  If only I had cash to purchase a piece.   But, if I had the money, I love the Krishna Hippie line.  (must be the female in me)


Hugs and Hope



Katherine Hepburn is sourced from IMDB.com

Ladies fashion is sourced from peopleshistory.com



Then and Now

I don’t know why I am so fascinated with the Great Depression; I guess it has a little to do with my living situation as of late.

My mother was born in 1934.  I remember growing up (we didn’t have much then either), of her telling stories of what it was like living in that time.  From using cereal box cutouts for soles of shoes to her mother having to use Rations to buy food for her family of 9.

ration book

Depression Glass.  When I was in college I remember having to do a public speaking project on artifacts and I chose a cake plate that I still had that belonged to our family.  I remember it as a young child.  It had a small chip in it and it was green.  I don’t have it anymore.  One day, I will build my collection up again.

Depression glass is clear or colored translucent glassware that was distributed free, or at low cost, in the United States and Canada around this time.  Much depression glass is uranium glass. The Quaker Oats Company, and other food manufacturers and distributors, put a piece of glassware in boxes of food, as an incentive to purchase. Movie theaters and businesses would hand out a piece simply for coming in the door.

depression glass

S&H Green Stamps were trading stamps popular in the United States from the 1930s until the late 1980s. They were distributed as part of a rewards program operated by the Sperry & Hutchinson company (S&H), founded in 1896 by Thomas Sperry and Shelley Byron Hutchinson.

green stamps

Quoted from allabouthistory.org; most characteristic of life during the Great Depression was the widening gap between the “haves” and “have-nots.” Unemployment rose from a shocking 5 million in 1930 to an almost unbelievable 13 million by the end of 1932. It would be rural America that would suffer the greatest. Unemployed fathers saw children hired for sub-standard wages. In 1930, 2.25 million boys and girls ages 10–18 worked in factories, canneries, mines, and on farms. Children left school to support their families.

The harsh reality of life during the Great Depression is vividly recalled by Travis (12 yrs) who found his father behind their Massachusetts house, crying and heartbroken. “My dad was the strongest man I knew, but the Depression brought him to his knees.” While starving children in the Appalachians chewed on their hands, nearly drawing blood, nursery school children in Philadelphia played an “eviction game.” Toy furniture would be piled up in one corner of the room, then picked up and moved to another corner. “We ain’t got no money for rent, so we move. Then we get the sheriff on us, so we move again.” 

children 1930

I look out my kitchen window, I see children playing with the mouse trap boxes and collecting grass hoppers with them, eating a hotdog on a piece of white bread with ketchup; using the Diet Pepsi cans as soda bombs for some kind of childhood game.

kitchen window

We’ve come along way, haven’t we……

I did finally get my Food Card, and took my bus trip to the grocery store. I will save that story for another day.

I am also learning how to make wine from grape juice.  I will tell you how that goes.

Hugs and Hope



cc 4

The Apartments


I haven’t had to live like this since I was a child- a very humbling experience.


I still don’t have a key to the laundry facilities yet, so I am washing my clothes in the tub and drying them on the outside railing.  Everyone in the building knows what color towels I have now.


Still waiting for my Food Benefits, good thing I have some ol’ standbys in the cupboard.


Sadness and Hunger fill the air today at the Apartments, even the pooches can sense it.  I long to use my last $3.50 bus fare, at least there is hope on the bus.

new beginning

I am trying to keep my space positive, but the darkness keeps seeping in.


It is quiet for the most part here, just don’t take the furbabies out after 9 PM.

Across the courtyard is the 4 bedroom apartments, there are two families that live there.  One downstairs and one upstairs.  There is an empty apartment on the bottom floor, but I don’t dare go near it, it gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Still don’t have all of my stuff yet ; feels like I am staying in a seedy motel.  Without the rest of my few things I own, I can’t quite find home. …..

My son is working two jobs.  I can’t get enough events lined up.  Being in the hospital, knocked me off my horse.  Having a hard time getting back on.


My side of the courtyard are the one bedrooms.  Mostly rented by single men except for mine and another lady that I would assume works in a hospital, wearing scrubs as her attire.   I hear her children, but have never seen them.

As for the rest, the man that collects appliances from the dumpster, the handicapped man and his caretaker and the one that lives below me, works during the day.

My daughter can’t seem to find her way either, such a heavy burden for a mom to carry.

sad elf

We are adjusting.  The furbabies have literally been on a tight leash, but I do play ball and we yoga every day.  The kids love to get them barking at night.  I’m sure they think it’s fun.

walking dogs


Maybe tomorrow my food benefits will come and I can use my bus pass to go grocery shopping and find a conversation.   Until then, I will warm up some leftover soup.

Hugs and Hope



June 1937-It’s all About Perspective




 Amelia Earhart Disappeared

  • Amelia Mary Earhart mysteriously disappeared over the Pacific Ocean during a circumnavigation flight

More Information and Timeline For Amelia Mary Earhart
1. Amelia Mary Earhart started her career during World War I as a nurses aid in Toronto, Canada looking after wounded soldiers ( Mostly as a Cook )
2. 1920 after saving by working multiple jobs including photographer, truck driver, and stenographer she saved the $1,000 needed to take flying lessons
3. 1923, Amelia Earhart became the 16th woman to be issued a pilot’s license
4. 1928, Earhart became the first woman to fly solo across the North American continent and back
5. 1932 she became the the first woman to fly solo non-stop across the Atlantic
6. 1937 On June 1st Amelia Earhart and her flight navigator Fred Noonan take off from Miami attempting a round-the-world flight.


Average Cost of Living 1937

Average Cost of new house $4,100.00
Average wages per year $1,780.00
Cost of a gallon of Gas 10 cents
Average Cost for house rent $26.00 per month
A loaf of Bread 9 cents
A LB of Hamburger Meat 12 cents
Average Price for new car $760.00
Toothpaste 35 cents
Couple of examples of houses advertised for sale
Port Authur, Texas — 5 room Cottage home and bath in town center $2,250
Mansfield, Ohio —- Colonial Brick Home 6 modern rooms and bath with open fireplace in living room $6,000



June, 2017


I am sitting on my bed/couch eating some french fries and leftover pizza for breakfast, as my furbabies wait patiently for a bite.  It’s a little overcast outside.  Some commotion from the building across the courtyard.  A day to keep the windows drawn.

I do have more flexibility now that I am within the bus system, just have to learn my way around! The other day  I decided to take the bus to the Post Office to get a key for our mail box.   I checked on my IPhone for the best route, and there were 3 choices.

I picked the wrong one.

As you know, I know no stranger, so I struck up a conversation with a fellow sitting in the row in front of me.  We talked and talked.  Before I knew it, I had turned a 25 minute ride to an over 2 hour ride! I was completely on the wrong side of town!

The bus driver, ever so helpfully, stopped the bus going the other way, so I could head back to my actual destination.  Of course, I forgot snacks and drinks.  Three bus changes later, I found the Post Office, in the middle of some traffic lights and grassy fields. A Temple on the dead end street, with housing.  A sacred space I am sure.

bunny bus

No fast food, no quickie marts.  By this time, I was hot, hungry, thirsty and exhausted.  I just wanted to go home. Four hours was long enough for this excursion.   After waiting 20 minutes to hop on a bus to go 5 minutes, so I can get on another bus to go to the exchange, then the final bus to my humble residence!

I think I will take up smoking!

It’s all about perspective, right?   Just imagine how much money I am saving in car expenses by using the Public Transportation System.  Just $3.50 a day, gets me anywhere the bus will take me.


I am going to get started on one of my favorite cupboard cooking recipes now and as always, Hugs and Hope



CC mac




Info on Amelia Earhart and Average Cost of Living