Finding My Way Back

moon

 

Fear is the most debilitating emotion in the world, and it can keep you from ever truly knowing yourself and others – its adverse effects can no longer be overlooked or underestimated. Fear breeds hatred, and hatred has the power to destroy everything in its path.

 Kevyn Aucoin

 

I fell.  I fell down hard.   This past month has been very hard for me. One of the hardest months I have had to deal with in a very long time and it isn’t over yet.  That scared, lost little girl came rearing her head and she wasn’t going away until I hugged her tight, wiped away her tears and told her everything is going to be okay.

Sometimes on this great path of life, we have to face our dark side.  I had to face mine.  I had no choice.  My higher Voice pretty much knocked me off my kiester and force fed it down my throat.  Not fun to say the least.

  I am scared and I cry.  I cry A LOT.

 

So, I am taking my time and slowly working through each demon as they are thrown my way.  Funny, most start with the word fear.  Fear of abandonment, fear of being disliked, fear of being alone; there are more, this is only the beginning.

A new day

Each day I wake up, I have to make myself present in each and every emotion that I am going through.  Anger, sadness, fear, hopelessness.  I have to consciously remind myself of hope, love and happiness and keep working through these emotions like a crazy roller coaster ride.

You see, I am a little hard headed and have to go through these tumultuous emotions so I can grow, so I can experience the ultimate reward- Unconditional love.

I am learning though, for me to experience this love, I have to love myself unconditionally.  Makes perfect sense, Right?

Here’s a New Year’s Resolution if I ever had one!

2017

Anyone who is shedding their old skin and growing new skin is a blessing.  It means we are growing- growing as a human. This reminds me of an old Beatles song that my dear friend showed me; and part of the lyrics go something like ‘with every mistake, we must surely be learning’.  We never stop learning, and if we did how boring life would be!

Thank you for reading my posts on this wonderful journey of mine and if you have comments or insights I would love to hear them! I hope you have a Blessed New Year!

 

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