True Friends


I hung out with my bestie this weekend-you know the one, Sasy.

Her and her man had a lovely time at the nearby Casino.

We totally need to go- we would kick some BFF  Casino ass!

The same weekend, her daughter turned 21, so,  her gift  was the “gramma takes the kids so momma can get her party on’. present.

In between all of that, she picks me up and takes me to my job that is outside the bus range.  Now, she lives about 20 minutes away from me, and my job was another 20 minutes in the opposite direction.

best friends 3

After work, Sasy picks me up and we go to the cell phone store so she can do an upgrade.  Well, they have this awesome deal, if you add a line you can get a free phone and the second line is dirt cheap.

She immediately asks me if I need a phone, knowing full well my situation.  So, here we are, grandkids and me at the phone store.

I can’t accept the phone.

Is it pride?

Is it, obligation?


Or is it because, I don’t know how to accept gifts and I don’t know  what true friendship  love really means.

Yes, I have friends.  Not very many.  But the ones I have had, I have had for life.

best friends title 2

My childhood friend from grade school, since we were 7 and we lived on the same block.

She taught me how to dance to Barry Manilow.

My other  bestie that I’ve known since Junior High. We experienced life  together the only way 13 year olds know how.

Yes, and I have had friends here and there, and they come and go.

best friends 4

My 23 year old Elfin Girl, that dyes her hair purple and yet, she is an old soul….and I love her

I still have far away friends that I keep close to my heart.  And they are still part of my life.

But, those rare friends, that stick to you…..

And if you are fortunate enough, you know what I am talking about.

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Processed with VSCO with c6 preset

Okay, so, Sasy and I are kindred spirits.  WE KNOW EACH OTHER.  Like it was meant to be.

I was meant to have this great opportunity to know what true friendship love really means.

When we were at the store, she insisted on getting the phone for me, and matching phone covers too,  and I am like, ‘but we’ve only been dating for 2 months.” My sarcastic sense of humor…..

b friends

I have never been very good at accepting love, or gifts.

Whether it is a sisterhood, a best friend, or that of a  true lover.

But, today, I am learning.



I am so grateful for the love that is opening up for me in all shapes and forms.

With Hugs and Hope





The Apartments


I haven’t had to live like this since I was a child- a very humbling experience.


I still don’t have a key to the laundry facilities yet, so I am washing my clothes in the tub and drying them on the outside railing.  Everyone in the building knows what color towels I have now.


Still waiting for my Food Benefits, good thing I have some ol’ standbys in the cupboard.


Sadness and Hunger fill the air today at the Apartments, even the pooches can sense it.  I long to use my last $3.50 bus fare, at least there is hope on the bus.

new beginning

I am trying to keep my space positive, but the darkness keeps seeping in.


It is quiet for the most part here, just don’t take the furbabies out after 9 PM.

Across the courtyard is the 4 bedroom apartments, there are two families that live there.  One downstairs and one upstairs.  There is an empty apartment on the bottom floor, but I don’t dare go near it, it gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Still don’t have all of my stuff yet ; feels like I am staying in a seedy motel.  Without the rest of my few things I own, I can’t quite find home. …..

My son is working two jobs.  I can’t get enough events lined up.  Being in the hospital, knocked me off my horse.  Having a hard time getting back on.


My side of the courtyard are the one bedrooms.  Mostly rented by single men except for mine and another lady that I would assume works in a hospital, wearing scrubs as her attire.   I hear her children, but have never seen them.

As for the rest, the man that collects appliances from the dumpster, the handicapped man and his caretaker and the one that lives below me, works during the day.

My daughter can’t seem to find her way either, such a heavy burden for a mom to carry.

sad elf

We are adjusting.  The furbabies have literally been on a tight leash, but I do play ball and we yoga every day.  The kids love to get them barking at night.  I’m sure they think it’s fun.

walking dogs


Maybe tomorrow my food benefits will come and I can use my bus pass to go grocery shopping and find a conversation.   Until then, I will warm up some leftover soup.

Hugs and Hope



Move in Day

Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.

e. e. cummings


Here I am sitting on some mattresses on the floor, a cardboard box end table and two sleepy pooches.  It has been a journey getting here, but here I am.


A few days ago, I decided to get sick again and spent 8 hours at the ER, just to tell me my electrolytes and iron was still low and they gave me some nausea meds for the tummy.  Slept for 3 hours and went to work.  Only because they are remodeling my store and I am not scheduled for the next 2 weekends.

strong woman

When I finally got home, I slept for 12 hours straight.  The next day…..

I just knew if I got a good night’s rest I would be back to my old stubborn self and would be able to move my stuff to the apartment all by myself, just like no biggie-   Wrong answer.

I drove my son to work so I could use the car, checked out the apartment and proceeded to unload the car to make room for my stuff.  Now, the apartment is on the second floor, so here I am carrying one 15 lb. bowling ball up the stairs like it’s a sack of 100 pound potatoes.  I knew right then, this was a bad idea.  I barely got the car unloaded and cleaned up; I was done for the day.

pretty 2

I decided to utilize my time and wait to pick up my son, to go shopping at the Goodwill.  Yay!  I found some super finds on pots and pans that fit right in with my décor plan for our humble abode.  Since, I was given so much stuff that belonged to my mother, that were post-depression era, which suits the 1960’s apartment building just fine.

By the time I finished my shopping and picked up my son from the bowling alley, I was pretty much spent.  My brain short-circuited hours ago, and I don’t really remember much after that.  Between my brother and my son, about a third of my stuff got transported to the new place.  I did remember to grab the poochies.

move in day

I struggled laying  the mattresses on the floor and some bedding.  As I was getting ready for bed, this is when I noticed I had no charger or toothbrush.  I found my curling iron and the dogs grooming sheers, so I can curl my hair and shave the dogs’ hineys…..but at this point I really didn’t care.  I made it!

Among random boxes, I did find a clock radio with an IPod dock, so I can at least trickle charge my 4s.

c r soup

I did get to make my first home cooked meal in my apartment; Chicken and rice soup.  And as soon as I find my bath bomb, I am breaking in the bathtub.

Until next time,

Hugs and Hope

Sasy’s Tips-Fab Finds


You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby


A slogan from my childhood past, but, seemed fitting. I have come a long way. From living in fear with a narcopath, to building myself back up and discovering and growing into who I should’ve been all along. I have read some of my posts from the last year and I really notice the changes within myself and my surroundings.

thinking barbie
I have been spending a lot of time lately, reflecting, and according to Astrology  when we are in a Mercury Retrograde, we tend to go deep within ourselves and reflect, discover and purge. I don’t know that much about it, but, it seems we have been in a Retrograde a LOT and it certainly affects me!

success barbie
I am proud of myself; if it is okay to be. I know we should always be humble, but, I think it is also good to be proud of our accomplishments. Whatever they may be, big or small.
So, to the alcoholic that is 30 days sober, be proud!
To the musician that learned a new chord, be proud!
To the college student that aced an exam, be proud!
And to the person that overcame a bad situation, be proud!


walking barbie
I feel a sense of renewal today. I feel like climbing out of the retrograde and exploring new things. ( Maybe because I have been home too long and I have cabin fever! )
There are so many things to explore, whether it is a new territory or even in books of knowledge, and i am a firm believer in never being afraid to explore or learn new things. Once you stop, that is when your mind and body get old.

russia barbie
So, today I am going to go outside and explore new flowers blooming in the neighborhood, and then I am going to do some more exploring within myself.

selfie barbie
Oh, I have always loved Barbie’s growing up and apparently still do!  Your welcome!

redhead barbie

Not Giving Up


Today was my payday. Good thing too, I was out of snacks! I got dressed and took my walk to the Dollar Tree to get my necessities and much needed snacks- I have an incredible appetite, so I like to keep plenty of supplemental snacks on hand.

ice cream
More good news, I finally found a place to call my own. My son, pooches and me will soon be living in a one-bedroom apartment. Since we don’t have much, the move is going to be a breeze! We might have 8 boxes of stuff between the two of us!
I also learned a new word today, dapatical. I only found one definition: sumptuous of cheer. I like it, I will use it.


So, back to my walk to the dollar store. I really like walking, it’s a good way to clear my head and most of the time, the opportunity of the proverbial light bulb clicks on. The last few weeks have been another one of my rough learning patches. One would think, as many of these learning phases happen, I would be grown-up by now. NOPE
I have this incredible stubborn streak, (my red hair has nothing to do with it), HA! Anyway, I get stuff stuck in that thick skull of mine, and I will fight tooth and nail, because I am so positive I am right. Then after I calm down a bit, and let rational thinking creep back in, I can sort through my mess, some call a brain, and realize I have been a stubborn-ass-redhead once again.

spaghetti brain

If I could just listen to my partner in crime to what he is actually telling me, it sure would avoid lots of conflict and misunderstandings.
I am a complicated creature, though, I suppose most females are, and my spaghetti mess is constantly thinking of a million things all at once. I think the little hamster up there gets tired and drops the ball and gets some wires mixed up.

hamster wheel
I certainly still have a lot more lessons and learning to do and I have been given so many blessings in the past year.  Of many, I have a wonderful friend that has let me explore who I really am, so I can learn and grow.
You know what else? There is no hurry. We both have been in some doozies of situations along our paths to here, and we can take our time to grow and be better people for ourselves and each other.

guardian angel
Learning and growing certainly has its ups and downs. But, as long as we remember to follow our hearts and the path of the Divine, we are going to be alright.
And sometimes when we are at our lowest, is when we need to hear it the most, we are not alone. Our Divine Angels are all around us, protecting us, wrapping their wings around us and carrying us through the darkest of times.
So, no, I am not giving up

Tranquil Winter Nights



One of the great things about winter is the beautiful purple sunsets. Most of us don’t seem to notice, we are so busy with the season’s festivities; we just need to stop for a moment and enjoy one of Mother Nature’s gifts to us.

purple relax


Here are some ways we can bring in the tranquil night sky into our home and enjoy the ambiance of wintertime, by infusing the delightful scent of vanilla, with its warm homey sweetness, to invoke tranquility into your most hectic winter night.


Scented Beeswax Heart; Scent your favorite room with this decorative accent.  Use a cookie cutter to cut a heart shape (or any shape you like) from a sheet of natural beeswax.  Wrap the shape in cheesecloth and infuse it with a few drops of vanilla essential oil. Place the wrapped beeswax in a plastic bag for a week.  Remove and decorate the beeswax shape with dried flowers and a bow.


Vanilla Fabric Softener; Soften clothes and boost cleaning power with this natural fabric softener.  Dissolve 1 cup baking soda in 2 cups distilled water then add 1 cup white vinegar and 40 drops of vanilla oil.  Mix well then add ¼ cup to your final rinse cycle.


Vanilla Rose Bath Fizz;  Blend ½ cup baking soda and ¼ cup each cornstarch and citric acid in a glass bowl.  Add 1 tsp each melted cocoa butter and vanilla oil and ½ tsp rose oil.(or any other scent you choose)  Mix well. Slowly blend in 1 tsp rose water.  Pack mixture into molds, turn out on waxed paper to dry for 24 hours, then store in an air tight container.  Put one comforting and calming fizz in your bath.


body cream

Tranquility Body Cream; Your skin will love the nourishing effect of this luscious cream, just in time for winter parchness.  Start with a ½ cup of unscented body cream, contents of 2 vitamin E capsules, 10 drops of vanilla oil and 4 drops of rose oil, or lavender or any other scent you like; mix ingredients with an electric mixer and enjoy the softness.


Vanilla Sugar; Use vanilla sugar in place of regular sugar in beverages or your favorite recipe that calls for it; just place a vanilla bean into your sugar container and allow to permeate for 2 weeks.


Sit back and relax in your favorite comfy chair and bask in the warm vanilla scents as you watch the purple sunset fade into the night.