True Friends

 

I hung out with my bestie this weekend-you know the one, Sasy.

Her and her man had a lovely time at the nearby Casino.

We totally need to go- we would kick some BFF  Casino ass!

The same weekend, her daughter turned 21, so,  her gift  was the “gramma takes the kids so momma can get her party on’. present.

In between all of that, she picks me up and takes me to my job that is outside the bus range.  Now, she lives about 20 minutes away from me, and my job was another 20 minutes in the opposite direction.

best friends 3

After work, Sasy picks me up and we go to the cell phone store so she can do an upgrade.  Well, they have this awesome deal, if you add a line you can get a free phone and the second line is dirt cheap.

She immediately asks me if I need a phone, knowing full well my situation.  So, here we are, grandkids and me at the phone store.

I can’t accept the phone.

Is it pride?

Is it, obligation?

 

Or is it because, I don’t know how to accept gifts and I don’t know  what true friendship  love really means.

Yes, I have friends.  Not very many.  But the ones I have had, I have had for life.

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My childhood friend from grade school, since we were 7 and we lived on the same block.

She taught me how to dance to Barry Manilow.

My other  bestie that I’ve known since Junior High. We experienced life  together the only way 13 year olds know how.

Yes, and I have had friends here and there, and they come and go.

best friends 4

My 23 year old Elfin Girl, that dyes her hair purple and yet, she is an old soul….and I love her

I still have far away friends that I keep close to my heart.  And they are still part of my life.

But, those rare friends, that stick to you…..

And if you are fortunate enough, you know what I am talking about.

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Processed with VSCO with c6 preset

Okay, so, Sasy and I are kindred spirits.  WE KNOW EACH OTHER.  Like it was meant to be.

I was meant to have this great opportunity to know what true friendship love really means.

When we were at the store, she insisted on getting the phone for me, and matching phone covers too,  and I am like, ‘but we’ve only been dating for 2 months.” My sarcastic sense of humor…..

b friends

I have never been very good at accepting love, or gifts.

Whether it is a sisterhood, a best friend, or that of a  true lover.

But, today, I am learning.

 

 

I am so grateful for the love that is opening up for me in all shapes and forms.

With Hugs and Hope

Diane

 

 

Central Meadowbrook

 

 

I really am fortunate to be where I am right now you know.  My mind is NOT filled with the busy-ness of the rat race and the matrix of society.

I am so grateful the experiences that I have- I get to see so many things.  I have seen the worst in humanity and I have seen the best.

my sunset

I live in an area, the town Mayor or some city official decided to call Central Meadowbrook.  It’s in the eastern central part of town.

 

In a low income apartment building, with the faint smells of the overflowing dumpster behind us and the sewer line that seems to keep plugging up.  I take a small trash bag with me whenever I take the little ones for their walk and pick up as I go along.

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My babes haven’t been to the groomer in a very long time; they are looking a little shaggy, but Olive wouldn’t have it any other way.

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I have learned to use natural remedies to keep the fleas at bay, and they actually welcome being sprayed down.  It soothes their skin.

I have made best friends in a very short amount of time.  We are a village-we take care of each other and share what we got.

share

 

The Spur always takes me to a new adventure.

I am seeing so many things and meeting so many people.

 

I know I will have to go back to work the 8-5 – and when I do, I hope I don’t forget how to really live.

 

For those that read my stories, Thank you.

With Hugs and Hope

Diane

The Birthday Party

Black and white are the colors of photography. To me they symbolize the alternatives of hope and despair to which mankind is forever subjected.

Robert Frank

My furbabies have been over stimulated with the new sounds of their new home.  I know they are only doing their job to protect their alpha dog.  (Me)

The first few days were a little rough for me and my poochies.  They have been barking at everything and everyone, making me nervous and them as well.  I would take them potty and try to introduce myself, but the dogs were in protect mode, which made it difficult.  I was really starting to think this situation wasn’t going to work.  I even had a neighbor tell me to keep my nasty dogs away from her.  I was really feeling like I wasn’t going to fit in.

Wine Roses 5AB

I decided to walk across the street to the family dollar and buy myself a six dollar bottle of Liberty Creek wine.  You know the good stuff.

As I was getting my drink on, there was excessive laughter and screaming from the neighbor kids in our courtyard, so I peeked out my kitchen window to see what the raucous was all about.  There were about 20-30 kids playing on a Slip-n-Slide and kiddy pool and water balloons.  Child hood memories came flooding in.  So, I grabbed my glass of wine and sat on the steps and watched with delight.

I asked the kids if they minded if I took pics, they thought that was cool.  I sat and watched as they carried on without a care in the world, wearing whatever clothing and it didn’t even matter.  They were having a blast!

The mom of 9, saw me and told the kids to say hi to the new neighbor.  They all in unison said HI! Really loud!  It warmed my heart.  I am sure it was with sarcasm, but hey, it’s a start.

soup kitchen

Later that evening, the mom with the birthday boy knocked on my door and invited me over for some cake and ice cream.  I obliged.  As it turned out the mom and I have a lot in common and we talked about racism and  that we naturally fear the unknown.  One of her daughters pulled out some braids and she was showing me, and I took my hair out of my pony tail and showed her my hair.  The mom exclaimed, ‘you have  hair like we do!’  We laughed!

I told her about my blog and she showed me some music that she and her mate recorded together.  She has this amazing voice, so I shared it on my social media.  Maybe one day, she will be heard and she can share her talents with the world.

As I reflected on this special night, how here we are from all different walks of life,and that we aren’t really so much different after all.   We have our unique ways of expressing ourselves through music, writing, painting, drawing or whatever.

I am so grateful for the opportunity to meet such wonderful people and their babies.

Now, if I can only get my fur children to relax a little, we will be all okay.

With Hugs and Hope

DTC

Move in Day

Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.

e. e. cummings

 

Here I am sitting on some mattresses on the floor, a cardboard box end table and two sleepy pooches.  It has been a journey getting here, but here I am.

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A few days ago, I decided to get sick again and spent 8 hours at the ER, just to tell me my electrolytes and iron was still low and they gave me some nausea meds for the tummy.  Slept for 3 hours and went to work.  Only because they are remodeling my store and I am not scheduled for the next 2 weekends.

strong woman

When I finally got home, I slept for 12 hours straight.  The next day…..

I just knew if I got a good night’s rest I would be back to my old stubborn self and would be able to move my stuff to the apartment all by myself, just like no biggie-   Wrong answer.

I drove my son to work so I could use the car, checked out the apartment and proceeded to unload the car to make room for my stuff.  Now, the apartment is on the second floor, so here I am carrying one 15 lb. bowling ball up the stairs like it’s a sack of 100 pound potatoes.  I knew right then, this was a bad idea.  I barely got the car unloaded and cleaned up; I was done for the day.

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I decided to utilize my time and wait to pick up my son, to go shopping at the Goodwill.  Yay!  I found some super finds on pots and pans that fit right in with my décor plan for our humble abode.  Since, I was given so much stuff that belonged to my mother, that were post-depression era, which suits the 1960’s apartment building just fine.

By the time I finished my shopping and picked up my son from the bowling alley, I was pretty much spent.  My brain short-circuited hours ago, and I don’t really remember much after that.  Between my brother and my son, about a third of my stuff got transported to the new place.  I did remember to grab the poochies.

move in day

I struggled laying  the mattresses on the floor and some bedding.  As I was getting ready for bed, this is when I noticed I had no charger or toothbrush.  I found my curling iron and the dogs grooming sheers, so I can curl my hair and shave the dogs’ hineys…..but at this point I really didn’t care.  I made it!

Among random boxes, I did find a clock radio with an IPod dock, so I can at least trickle charge my 4s.

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I did get to make my first home cooked meal in my apartment; Chicken and rice soup.  And as soon as I find my bath bomb, I am breaking in the bathtub.

Until next time,

Hugs and Hope

Ten Things

 

 

I am not very good at this astrology thing, but, we are still stuck in that retrograde; which means I still need to work through some stuff.  This is not easy for this Arian Redhead.  I prefer enjoying my surroundings or exploring, singing, dancing or sharing some good company and good wine.   I am an action kind of girl, not a reflective one.  And I really need to find other things to write about!

But, to be a better person for me and my loved ones, this is a process I must endure.  So, one of my projects is listing 10 things I want to achieve in my journey.  So here is another list for you.  Enjoy!

kid in window

  1.  To be loved as much, if not more than I love.  Nothing feels more comforting and secure, knowing you are surrounded by those who love you for all that you are.
  2. Be confident within myself.  I have been through some experiences that have            knocked me off my patootie but that is the past.  The future is now.  I must learn to be strong on my own 2 feet.  I tend to get myself worked up and that poor hamster is running in circles and I turn a mole-hill into a mountain.
  3.  Be caring of others and be okay when it isn’t so appreciated.   I have always been caring to the point of neglecting myself, and I love doing and thinking of others, it fills my cup of happiness.  Sometimes the receiver might not seem so appreciative, or they just don’t realize.  I need to learn that balance of doing things because i want to without neglecting me. sunglasses
  4. The courage to explore the unknown.  This can go in so many directions.  We’ll start with my need to be in control.  This was shoved down my skull since I was a very young adult.  Being a young mom probably didn’t help much either.  Certain situations that I ended up in, I lost control of how I was treated and how I was portrayed of myself.  I was always told how to be or act.  This is probably going to be my hardest purge.  Let it go man, just let it go.  So diving into the unknown can be pretty frightening.  I have done it a few times out of sheer necessity, and it took every ounce of intrepidity  I owned.  I will interject though, when I lose my temper, common sense and thought go completely out the window and I will just charge forward like a bat out of hell.
  5. Completely trust my intuition.  I have a strong intuition and I second guess myself almost every time.  If I would just shut up already and listen to what my body is telling me, there would be no problem.  Really need to work on that one too.
  6. Expand and explore the great talents that Spirit has given me.  I am a loving, compassionate person.  I am an artist by my writing and having a knack of putting things together that fit.  When my head is clear I can see things logically and figure out the dilemma diplomatically.  Key words here, clear head. red dress
  7. Be brave and strong enough to speak up and protect what is right.  Even if I am the only one standing, do not be afraid; hold fast for what I believe is to be true and righteous.
  8. Be compassionate and understanding of other’s feelings and beliefs.  Sometimes stuff just falls out of my mouth, it might just be a fleeting thought, but it stayed there long enough for me to spit out something negative of another  Me of all people should be better at this than I actually am.
  9. To recognize the needs of others without encroaching on their integrity.  This is another biggy.  See number 4.  The need to be in control; I have a real bad habit of just taking over and doing things for other people.  I did this to my kids and now they second guess themselves on a daily basis.  (Bad mommy. ) I don’t have to be any one else any more but to be me.  This involves the complete tearing down and rebuilding with better stuff.  Respect boundaries, keep calm and vibe on.
  10. Last but not least, to see the beauty in all things.  I think I am pretty good at this except when I’m not.  When life is falling apart all around me, I need to take a step back and see and appreciate all of God’s wonderful gifts. reflect

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, lesson plan for today is finished.  I do have a bunch more lessons and things to work through, but one thing nice is I can set my own schedule.  Thanks for listening to another rambling and please comment.  I would love to hear your thoughts!

You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby

 

A slogan from my childhood past, but, seemed fitting. I have come a long way. From living in fear with a narcopath, to building myself back up and discovering and growing into who I should’ve been all along. I have read some of my posts from the last year and I really notice the changes within myself and my surroundings.

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I have been spending a lot of time lately, reflecting, and according to Astrology  when we are in a Mercury Retrograde, we tend to go deep within ourselves and reflect, discover and purge. I don’t know that much about it, but, it seems we have been in a Retrograde a LOT and it certainly affects me!

success barbie
I am proud of myself; if it is okay to be. I know we should always be humble, but, I think it is also good to be proud of our accomplishments. Whatever they may be, big or small.
So, to the alcoholic that is 30 days sober, be proud!
To the musician that learned a new chord, be proud!
To the college student that aced an exam, be proud!
And to the person that overcame a bad situation, be proud!

 

walking barbie
I feel a sense of renewal today. I feel like climbing out of the retrograde and exploring new things. ( Maybe because I have been home too long and I have cabin fever! )
There are so many things to explore, whether it is a new territory or even in books of knowledge, and i am a firm believer in never being afraid to explore or learn new things. Once you stop, that is when your mind and body get old.

russia barbie
So, today I am going to go outside and explore new flowers blooming in the neighborhood, and then I am going to do some more exploring within myself.

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Oh, I have always loved Barbie’s growing up and apparently still do!  Your welcome!

redhead barbie