The Importance of Meditation

The garden is growth and change and that means loss as well as constant new treasures to make up for a few disasters.

May Sarton

Starting a meditation routine is one of the most fundamental practices you can develop if you want to gain control of your energy and learn how to quiet your mind to make those changes in your life. 

At its core, all you have to do is sit quietly and begin to observe the thoughts that run through your head. Focus on the breath, and these thoughts will soon diminish.

There are many techniques and spiritual ideals on the concept of meditation, from prayer to sitting quietly and connecting to your inner being. 

When I started seeing my therapist a little over a year ago and my life was spinning out of control, (it still is, by the way)  One of the first things she taught me was to practice meditation.  Joy taught me to sit in a quiet space in my RV or out in nature and close my eyes and observe the thoughts in my mind, acknowledge them, then gently let them fade like clouds and then draw my focus on my breathing; taking deep belly breaths to clear out that stale energy.  Imagining I am a tree locking my roots into the earth and receiving nourishment from the soil and bringing that feeling all the way through my trunk of my body and then imagining my branches reaching up to the sun and the heavens; then bringing that energy back to my heart center, while keeping the energy flowing.  As I stay in that state, I am connecting to my source energy, Spirit, G-d, or whichever feels true to me.  In that state of quiet, I allow myself to receive the divine downloads or inner guidance, and open my heart to receive the daily gifts that come through my door and find my point of inspiration. 

I can really notice when I am not connecting to my inner self- things tend to spiral.  The Holidays are always stressful, and when I’m not connected to Spirit, I tend to get caught up in the daily drama and spin out. 

This year we decided to meet in the middle and have Thanksgiving together in Phoenix, my daughter in Texas, my son and I in California and my granddaughter in Tucson.  I was so excited!  I haven’t seen my daughter in a few years and my grand since last Christmas.  We rented an AirBnB for the weekend and my daughter would fly out.  It was all planned to the T like I do. 

The day arrived and my son and I left as planned.  We made it as far as Bakersfield and the sun was beginning to set, I knew it was time to fuel up and start looking for a stay for the night.  All of a sudden a tanker came out of nowhere and pit maneuvered my little car and spun us into the traffic coming the other way.  I jerked the wheel to miss the other cars and we landed into a guard rail totaling my car.  We escaped the accident with only a few bruises.  I was damn determined to not disappoint my grandchild, so the next day I got a rental and we carried on.  Of course this pushed our time back a day and I still had to pick up my daughter from the airport; forgetting the time change from Cali to Arizona; my daughter had to wait until we got there, 5 hours later.  Holiday traffic.   We still had to drive 2 hours to Tucson to get my grand.  We made it to the BnB about 9 that eve and still had to buy Thanksgiving dinner, so off we went to the only major box chain still open.  Finally at 11 that eve, I could rest with a few glasses of red.  The rest of the weekend went as well as 4 people that haven’t spent any time together could.  The night before it was time to leave, I got very ill.  The next day my Asthma was in full swing with the coughing fits; every time I coughed, it would trigger an Asthma attack-about every 20 minutes and I was the one driving.

We made it home without too much of a hitch and I still had the rental car and my accident to deal with.  Three days later my kitty Kizmet became very ill and had to take him to the emergency vet and he had congestive heart failure.  I had to say goodbye to my special furry friend.  Since he was an orphan we gave him the same birthday as my grand.  He didn’t quite make it to 3. 

They totaled out my car and the settlement was just enough to pay off the car loan, leaving me without resource to buy a new one.  I am still off work due to my injuries and not much income to do anything else but survive. 

After the dust settled and after everything that has happened; a year ago, I would’ve been screaming at the Universe as to why is all of this shit happening to me?  Why G-d, why? 

I did curse a little, but, that silent nudging voice that I know, reminded me of how we were protected in that accident and maybe Motie didn’t belong anywhere else but here in his mountains where he loved to hunt and roam and I knew this is where his soul belonged.

After all the shit swirling around; I enhanced my morning connection to my inner being and I knew deep down;  and after all, I have been here many times before, that everything IS going to be okay.  The stuff that is happening is part of the divine plan of making the changes that needs to happen so I can be propelled into the new adventure that I am co-creating. 

It always seems to feel like I am being pushed to the very edge, and I wonder if I am being tested as to how I am responding to the push.  I kinda think it’s gonna happen anyway, whether we scream, halt our feet and try to hide in the walls of despair or we stay connected to our inner being and sit quietly in meditation, so we can hear the quiet voice of Spirit telling us  “I got you, everything is gonna be better than okay”. 

With Hugs and Hope,

Diane

Easter Eggs

Keep your face always toward the sunshine – and shadows will fall behind you.

Walt Whitman

I took some time off of work.

I was having a hard time dealing with the overwhelming emotions that were happening inside me.

Cold, and rainy, not much to do for distractions. Those baddies were coming back again. Whispering those familiar thoughts in my ears.

My sons grandfather passed away. Being around the family sure brought back memories. They were my parents when I was about 18. The trailer I was living in, finally gave way, during a very wet and rainy winter. The entire ceiling eventually crashed to the already soggy floors.

Pots and bowls everywhere, trying to catch the leaks. The hissing sound of rain droplets hitting our only source of heat. A tiny wood stove, situated in the kitchen of the not nearly finished remodel of the blue 8 X 36 trailer.

They put us in one of the downstairs bedrooms. A dry and warm home. They fixed up the bathroom so it would be inviting to use.

I get so focused on pleasing others. I tend to lose self. Familiar patterns were starting to emerge. Patterns, I thought, I was already finished with those lessons.

I went down that rabbit hole. And until I was ready to slay that Jabberwocky, that is where I would be for a while.

I went to go see her. My mother at that time of my life.

It was also my brother’s birthday. My brother, who was too good for this world; went home at the young age of 21.

She met me with open arms, and we hugged, with tears in both our eyes.

A few days earlier, I went to see my son. I just needed his energy for a while. We talked about Moses, and being blessed. He even played a little guitar.

We sat down, my mother and I, and I spoke with her about my demons I was fighting.

I told her how much I missed her husband. My father at that time in my life. How I could always come to him. He was usually a quiet man, but, still involved in his household. He never disappeared. When he spoke, it was usually very poignant. I never felt judged or looked down upon. He would give me advice from scriptures of the Bible, and interpret it into words I could understand. He would always even validate my uniqueness.

I also told her about my visit with my son.

When the Israelites were escaping Egypt, and they were surrounded and the only way out was the Red Sea. Moses started praying and the wind picked up….you know the rest.

We also talked about living right with G-d. My son, said, if you live like you are already blessed, then, the blessings keep coming.

Mom looked at me, and told me how she needed to hear that. I was her Easter Egg. Me. the troubled one, the lost one.

I knew I had to learn the lessons that were being put in front of me. I knew the only way out was to behead that beast that was blocking the door.

I finally had to kneel, and cry out to the heavens. “Please help me find my way!”

I kept researching Eater Eggs, and what that really meant. Google wasn’t really much help, so, I went within, to listen to my Spirit. My soul.

I also have a Bible and a Gita, sometimes those books have some answers as well, sometimes the exact one we are looking for.

Spring Equinox. Ostara. Easter.

New beginnings. The earth starts to awaken again. Flowers, grass, trees. Birds, bugs and wildlife.

The time of rebirth.

The Phoenix rising from the ashes.

Jesus rising from the Tomb.

I was riding home from the casino today, and my partner was driving and mentioned all the fallen trees on the side of the road.

I saw the green rolling hills and the few patches of poppies and daffodils cropping up in little patches here and there.

I remembered a game I used to play when I was riding in the truck for those many moons, of the alphabet game, but, using trucking company logos on the sides of the trailers to keep my mind busy.

Which brought me back, to the last few years; my whole life, actually. All the Easter Eggs I’ve experienced. Those pebbles of hope and faith, scattered all over the earth like bunny poop. Or maybe jelly beans.

“Your eyes will only see what you focus on“

Dead trees on the side of the road, or a sea-foam green Fiat 500 convertible.

The abuse I have adorned, or all of those Easter Eggs and jelly beans.

Who am I? Who is Diane?

I want my place to be of peace, so I can paint and write. Do yoga, burn sage and candles. Take a bath in salts and oils.

Tend to the Faery Garden every day.

The last few weeks have been very testing.

I come back from the ashes without my old fearing beliefs: Everything good ends, and I am left alone on that cold floor once again.

That Beast no longer has the power to grip my soul and whisper disparity in my head any longer. I am worthy, of the love and the life I deserve. Me. I am worthy.

Focus on my blessings. Trust. Everything will fall into place. As it should.

With hugs and hope

Diane